Bad bakery behavior

85% percent of my customers at the bakery are just wonderful.  They are decisive, sweet, and friendly and I love waiting on them.  However, there are so many others I could just do without.  

Maybe this post stems from the fact that I just finished reading Medium Raw by Anthony Bourdain and Waiter Rant by Steve Dublanica, but I have a few things to share about bakery etiquette.

Readers, please don't commit these bakery sins when you go buy a pastry.

1.  Don't ask me for a recommendation or to describe a certain item and then upon hearing the description or recommendation make a disgusted face or say ew.   Now I really don't want to wait on you and you've insulted me.  Yes, I know, you just don't like that dessert.  But the way you've portrayed it is insulting to me and my craft.  If you don't like my recommendation or don't want it, just politely say, "I don't really like chocolate and peanut butter together.  What else might you recommend?" 

2.  Don't point out exactly which cookie or which pie or which tart you want.  You are screwing with the First In First Out inventory management and now you are a pain in my ass.   If you don't want a lot of crust on your tart, either don't eat all the crust, or simply ask me to choose one that doesn't have a lot of crust on it.  Don't want it to have anything that is a darker brown?  Tell me you are buying the item for a child who won't eat it if it looks burnt.  Again, I'll pick a good one out for you.

3.  Stop telling me that the cake in front or the pie in front or the roll in front is bigger and you want that one.  Of course it looks bigger to you- it's closer to you.  For god's sake- it's a professional bakery.  We portion everything equally. 

4.  Don't let your kids touch the glass display case.  Or lick it. Or put their faces on it.  Or lean on it. Or bang on it.  It's bad behavior in public and now I have their body prints all over my glass which means I have to clean it.  Again.

5.  YOU don't touch the glass.  You are an adult.  You should know better.

6.  Speaking of kids.  Don't let them take food from the counter.  Just because it's within their reach doesn't mean they are supposed to grab it themselves.  That's a food safety issue- and yes, I did just watch your child pick his nose.

7.  YOU don't take food from the counter.  Same issue as number 6. 

8.  Don't let your young kids roll on the floor while you eat.  This might be something you do at home, but you are in a place of business and your child is now rolling on a floor that has had all kinds of crap stomped on it all day.

9.  Stop letting your kids use the restroom on their own if they don't know how to do it.  I came into the bathroom tonight after two five year old kids used it and found our glass bottles with stoppers strewn about, paper towels everywhere and pee all over the floor.  You wonder why they were in there for 10 minutes?  Now you know.  Not cool.

10.  Buying a cookie and then walking directly back to the restroom with a newspaper tucked under your arm?  Come on man.  This isn't your house.  This is a public place of business.  We have one restroom.  Don't blow out my bathroom and think that the $.50 you just spent at the bakery has earned you that right. 

11.  If you are going to change my arrangement of chairs and tables, put them back when you leave.  Period.

12.  Unless you grew up in a barn, push in your chairs when you are done eating and bring your plate to the counter.  You see me baking, working the front and cleaning simultaneously while you eat and then you leave your crap all over the store for me to go find?  I swear, one night I found a plate and fork behind the coffee urn.  Why?

13.  When I ask you what you want, try to give your order all at once.  I'm happy when you keep adding things on- this is a bigger sale for me now.  But when I have to rebox or rebag three times because you are pausing so much in between or changing your order a lot, I've now soiled 3 perfectly good boxes. 

14.  Please, please, please stop standing at the window to the kitchen and staring at me while I work.  I know it seems really cool and if you want to look quickly or glance from afar, fine.  But when you stand an inch from the window and just stare, I feel like I'm in a zoo and can't work. 

15.  When I have 10 people in line and you order a LARGE bone dry cappuccino, don't give me a dirty look when I ask you to take a seat so I can help other people and make your cappuccino at the same time.  This isn't starbucks, I'm not a barista.  I'm a pastry chef.  I understand you want coffee- and I'm happy to make you a latte.  But a cappuccino requires me to froth and froth and froth the milk so all you have is foam.  It's going to take a long while and I can help other people while doing it so I don't lose customers to make you a cappuccino that costs $3. 

16.  When you come in within 10 minutes of the store closing, don't eat in.  This isn't a restaurant, it's a bakery.  I can't refuse the customers who see you eating in my store with the story that we're closed.  I would obviously be lying.   And then you've just sentenced me to another hour there where I can't clean up and pull the food because I'm waiting on the never ending stream of late night customers you've invited in.

17.  When the store is obviously busy, don't ask a hundred questions to buy a cookie and then walk out.  This is the information age- there is a website.  Read it.   You actually cost me money by wasting 20 minutes of my time debating the strudel or the cake, then buying neither but getting a $1 truffle for the road. 

18.  If you come in and I'm stuck answering a hundred questions from customer #17, making a milkshake, scooping a pint of ice cream, frothing milk for a large cappuccino or filling a complicated request, don't get irritated and storm out because I couldn't help you right away.  I'll get to you and I promise I'll be quick about it, but some things just take the time they take.  It's annoying, I know, but just know that one day, you too will be that annoying customer making someone else wait when they are in a hurry.

19.  Calling me at noon to ask me to make you a specialty cake by 3pm isn't going to work.  If you are lucky, I'll have the kind of cake you want in stock, but chances are, I won't be able to write on it because I've already decorated it for the case.  If you've procrastinated that much, you'll have to call your local grocery store and see if they have a dry cake they can customize for you.

20.  Just because I work at a bakery doesn't mean I'm not smart enough to get a "real job".  I'm not a deadbeat.  I graduated in 3 years with honors with a degree in French and business.  I did the corporate thing for a while and found out how much I disliked it and how much I liked baking.  So don't talk down to me because your boss screamed at you earlier that day and disdain me publicly in my place of work for not "having a real job".  It's a career, thank you very much. 

And no, I'm not angry. I still love my job.  Everyday, I'm thankful that I get to create Sugar Lovin goodies and make someone else's day with that goodie.  Some days some customers just eat at you.

Easy mini cinnamon rolls

True cinnamon rolls require a lot of time, a lot of effort and a lot of patience. These cinnamon rolls aren't quite the same, but they are easy, delicious, and best of all, homemade! Enjoy the smell and cinnamon and sugar wafting throughout your entire house when you make these.

Easy Mini Cinnamon Rolls

Yield: 12 rolls

Ingredients: 

Rolls

16 Tbsp Unsalted butter, divided (2 sticks)

1 cup Brown sugar, divided

3 Tbsp Cinnamon, divided

1 pkg Frozen puff pastry, defrosted (2 sheets)

2 Tbsp Heavy cream

Glaze

3 Tbsp Confectioners sugar

2 Tbsp Milk

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Place 12 muffin tin pan on baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Divide your butter, 12 Tbsp for now, 4 Tbsp for later. Divide brown sugar, 1/3 cup for now, 2/3 cup for later. Divide cinnamon, 1 Tbsp for now, 2 tbsp for later. In bowl of mixer, beat 12 tbsp of butter, 1/3 cup brown sugar and 1 Tbsp of cinnamon until smooth. Drop 1 Tbsp of mixture into each muffin tin.

2. Take 1 puff pastry sheet and place on floured surface. Melt 2 tbsp of your remaining 4 Tbsp of butter and use half to brush the puff pastry sheet with it. Melt and cool the remaining 2 Tbsp of butter and mix with remaining brown sugar, cinnamon and heavy cream. Spread half of it evenly over puff pastry sheet.

3. Roll the puff pastry sheet length-wise, like you would a jellyroll cake and finish with the seam side down. Cut roll in half and then cut each half in thirds, to make 6 pieces. Place each piece in a muffin tin. Repeat with second puff pastry sheet.

4. Bake for 30 minutes, or until the rolls are puffed and golden. Allow to cool for 5 minutes and then carefully invert pan onto parchment lined baking sheet. Allow to cool for 10 to 15 minutes.

5. Mix confectioner sugar with milk and brush the tops of the cinnamon rolls. Serve warm!

Thoughts on a summery oatmeal cookie

Oatmeal cookies- not just with raisins and cinnamon any more! Try these summer oatmeal honey apricot cookies for a fun twist on a classic recipe. Then, when the wind gets chillier and you feel October really coming on, try my spicy oatmeal cranberry white chocolate cookies.

Summer Oatmeal Honey Apricot Cookies

Yield: About 4 dozen cookies

Ingredients:

3/4 cup Unsalted butter

1/4 cup Butter flavor shortening ***

3/4 cup Packed brown sugar

1 Tbsp Molasses

1/4 cup Honey

2 Large eggs

1 tsp Vanilla

1 1/2 cup AP flour

1 tsp Salt

3/4 tsp Baking soda

3 cups Old fashioned rolled oats

1 1/2 cups Chopped dried apricots

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Beat butter and shortening on medium until smooth. Beat in sugar, molasses and honey until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beat until smooth. Add in vanilla.

2. In large bowl, sift together flour, salt, baking soda and oats. Slowly beat into butter mixture, in three additions. Add in chopped apricots and mix until well combined.

3. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. Scoop cookies (about 2 Tbsp a piece) onto baking sheet. Bake for 10 minutes, or until edges of cookies are set. Remove from oven and allow to rest on pans for 5 minutes before moving to wire rack to cool.

*** Why shortening and why butter flavor shortening?

I don't normally recommend using shortening in baking. However, with cookies, shortening does two things- it provides a very smooth texture and it increases the temperature at which the fats (the butter and shortening) in your cookies melt. This keeps your cookies from spreading too thin during baking and allows your cookies to stay chewy and soft.

I use butter flavor shortening to at least mimic the rich flavor of real butter since I'm using an otherwise flavorless, highly processed ingredient.

Don't worry, regular shortening will work too and if you only have butter and don't wish to use shortening, that's ok too. Just be prepared for a thinner cookie!

Thoughts on an autumnal oatmeal cookie

This spicy cranberry white chocolate oatmeal cookie is an update on the basic oatmeal raisin cookie. You can swap the dried cranberries and white chocolate chips for butterscotch chips and apple chips or raisins and walnuts or chocolate chunks with a raspberry drizzle.

Spicy Cranberry White Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

Yield: about 4 dozen cookies

Ingredients:

3/4 cup Unsalted butter

1/4 cup Butter flavor shortening***

3/4 cup Packed brown sugar

2 Tbsp Molasses

3/4 cup Granulated sugar

2 Large eggs

1 tsp Vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups AP flour

1 tsp Salt

3/4 tsp Baking soda

2 tsp Cinnamon

1/2 tsp Ground cloves

3 cups Old fashioned rolled oats

1 1/2 cups Dried cranberries

1 1/2 cups White chocolate chips

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Beat butter and shortening on medium until smooth. Add in brown sugar, molasses and granulated sugar. Beat until light and fluffy. Add in eggs, one at a time, beat until smooth. Add in vanilla.

2. In a large bowl, sift together flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves and oats. Gradually add into butter mixture on low speed until just combined. Add in cranberries and white chocolate chips, mix until well combined.

3. Line baking sheets with parchment paper. Drop cookies, about 2 Tbsp in size, onto baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes, or until edges are set. Allow to rest on baking sheets for 5 minutes before moving to wire rack to cool.

*** Why shortening and why butter flavor shortening?

I don't normally recommend using shortening in baking. However, with cookies, shortening does two things- it provides a very smooth texture and it increases the temperature at which the fats (the butter and shortening) in your cookies melt. This keeps your cookies from spreading too thin during baking and allows your cookies to stay chewy and soft.

I use butter flavor shortening to at least mimic the rich flavor of real butter since I'm using an otherwise flavorless, highly processed ingredient.

Don't worry, regular shortening will work too and if you only have butter and don't wish to use shortening, that's ok too. Just be prepared for a thinner cookie!